I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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