ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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