The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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