Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Two words: nipple clamps
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