Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
