It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
