yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
