why didn't you poke me back
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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