Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
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