Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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