The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
