Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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