Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
