Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wear drunk well.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
