All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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