I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
