Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
