Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize