its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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