when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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