I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
