I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
