census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
