Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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