Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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