I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I have aggressive nipples.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
