I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
