I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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