Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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