her vagine was all disorganized.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
