I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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