For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize