I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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