I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
