I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
