Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The best revenge is premature balding
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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