I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
