I can text with my tongue
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
