i may or may not be watching the land before time
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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