I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
