They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize