I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
