More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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