yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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