I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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