my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
