there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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