There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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