Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
