Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
