Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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