called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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