sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
