Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize