Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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