So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
