I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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