Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
