shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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