You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
