it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm bleeding and have questions
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
