I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
