She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
