i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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