have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i think i just lost a toe
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
