Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
