Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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