just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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