im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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