Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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