this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
