Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Randomize
