Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
