I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
